Real life issues, discussion, and advice

Help not feeling sorry for myself

I recently got diagnosed with cancer. It's curable, being treated, and I'm taking the treatments as well as could be expected. I do have some side effects and issues but they're all within the 'normal' range, and nothing is affecting my life too terribly. The problem is that I'm struggling with several things, and having a hard time not feeling sorry for myself, as the title indicates.

I get stuck in these "why is this happening to me?" kind of thoughts and feelings. I also find myself really frustrated with myself for not being able to do all the things I could do before chemo. My muscles are much weaker now, a side effect of a handful of my medicines, and I have difficulty doing seemingly simple things like walking from the car to the house, or picking up my lap table with my laptop on it. I have to call my boyfriend in to help me lift it up onto the bed now. Some days I can't even really get out of bed and he has to bring me my lunch or dinner in bed. I've always been a relatively healthy person, I'm overweight and have diabetes but no major long-term medical issues like this, so it is a huge struggle for me to rely on somebody.

Does anybody have any sort of advice on not feeling like a huge burden to my partner and his family, even though none of them feel that way and they all assure me that this is part of having cancer and going through chemo, and that they all are willing to help me with all of this? (If they hadn't been, I could have stayed in the fancy cancer hospital that's treating me's outpatient "village", where I would essentially live independently but with a care nurse and assistance as needed, kind of like some senior living facilities)

Re: Help not feeling sorry for myself



First of all, sorry to hear about your condition @JenAnne. I, ofcourse, do not know what you're going through, but I lost my dad in 2013 to cancer, so I got to live it from a family member's point of view. So maybe I can help you out to. Since everything you're feeling, my dad was feeling. EXCEPT for the fact that it wasn't curable for him.

I can definitely agree with what your partner and his family is saying. You're not a burden, it's part of having cancer.

Ofcourse you are burdened with those questions. Hrm...might be a weird suggestion but there is this show called Chasing Life about a girl who gets cancer and she tries to deal with stuff too. She goes through the exact same rollercoaster as you are. And maybe....there are some suggestions made in that show that you can use? Or some questions get answered?

I -really- hope treatment will catch on fast and you will be cancer-free soon!


Re: Help not feeling sorry for myself

I once had a friend with cancer and she told me the chemo and medications made her lash out at people, so she also felt like a burden to her family. Please don't, though. It's nothing you asked for or can control. Just focus your energy on resting and doing things that will make you well as soon as possible, and that's the best for all of you.

yeah me too. sadly i do but they'll never grow in.[…][…] […]

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