Real life issues, discussion, and advice

I don't want this life.

I don’t want this life anymore, I’m sick of it all.
Let me stress that I do NOT want to die. I am NOT suicidal.

But I don’t want this.
I’m sick of being hungry all the time because I barely have money for food. I’m sick of not being able to get a job because I don’t have an education, driving license, nor connections. I’m sick of constantly having to worry what I’ll have to cut out or remove from my budget in order to pay the remaining bills, I’m sick of having to worry about being able to pay bills at all.
I’m sick of my body constantly aching, and I’m sick of being overweight, yet not having the willpower to do anything about it.

I hate it that I have this brain that makes everything feel impossible, and that things seem to require so much more willpower for me than it does for other people.

I don’t want all this responisbility. I don’t want to be tired all the time just because I I have to go to school, just so I can have a career and not feel like a failure (and so I can be financially independent.)

I miss the days where I lived in a group-home. I don’t ever want to go back, and I can’t, but sometimes I catch myself wishing I could.
I didn’t have to worry about anything there. They provided food, there was always someone to talk to, and they even told me when to clean up and take a shower.
I was legally an adult, but I didn’t have to act like one.

I don’t want to adult anymore. I don’t want this life.
I want out.

Re: I don't want this life.

Thank you :slight_smile:

I don't think there's much anyone can do, I just sometimes need to vent and rant until I wear myself out :stuck_out_tongue:

I guess what would help would be getting me to talk about positive things,
to sort of keep me remembering that it's not all bad.

Re: I don't want this life.



I can understand your struggles. My family has been poor as well and when I turned 18, we got in huge debt so my dad decided that I should take over the family budgetting and all of that. So basically I got thrown into adulthood.

Anyway. Now ...basically I can't get a job because I don't have enough experience (so kinda in the same boat as you, except slightly worse since I do have the education...) AND if I don't have a job, we can't afford food.

I live with my mom though and luckily she has a retirement paycheck that pays all the bills. But it isn't enough to afford food for the both of us. So atleast we're warm and safe, but ...hungry...

And you'd think that not having food might make you lose all that overweight, but guess again... It doesn't work like that. Because all the fatty foods are usually the cheapest.

Positive things? Try making small goals. Reachable goals. You can combine all kinds of goals, life goals, school goals, career goals, ... As long as they're reachable.
Like: "Get up in the morning" -> reachable goal right? Might seem a silly goal, but when you're going to any version of depression, getting up is usually a very difficult thing to achieve.


Re: I don't want this life.

I have to say I have a pretty stress fee life, other then moved around a lot and I don't really have much real life friends.

Positive thinking hmm.... maybe each day write down what you are grateful for?
Make a list each day and tick it off when you complete it.

And I'm always here to talk and listen you vent it all out :)
Hope that might help you a bit >x<

Re: I don't want this life.

your life is what you make it, only you have the power to change it.
i use to be just like you, i had no job, my education sucked, barely any money.... but i've had many jobs, been through 2 full time ones and about 3 part time ones, it does happen you just have to keep trying and trying, it WILL happen, you don't need an education to get a job, you just need to be careful about how you use your money, i buy cheap food, cheap food is just as good (sometimes better) as expensive food, i love my 39p bottles of lemonade and my 50p brocolli... my cheap chicken, my cheap noodles... YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

Re: I don't want this life.

I'm not poor, and I'm not rich. I completed college with a degree in Education, and I threw it away because I picked a job in retail, even though I could have landed a job in my field.

You don't have to have a college education, trust me. Yes, I understand that in order to make the big $, you need a MINIMUM of a Master's Degree in X subject that puts you in a big corporate job office, or medical science, and science/technology in general. That is, if you want to follow the American Dream.

But honestly, the world is lagging behind and is in denial about it. Things are just too expensive, and that Generation Y/Millennial to current are having a hard time keeping afloat, with bills, with housing, etc.

Keep things simple: Apply to an easy job. Make connections with the workers; challenge yourself. You may not like everyone you work with, you may not even make friends with them outside of work. But if your co-workers recognize that you're someone they can count on, and you want to start pursuing goals elsewhere, they will give you credibility.

Real world example: I started my retail career as JUST a sales associate. That's one step up from cashier. I am not a good salesperson, but I do work hard. I always asked questions to other associates and management, about how things worked, what the best product was. I didn't ask in the sense that I didn't know how the products work, but asked as more of a curiosity to make myself better. I went straight from sales to Inventory Control in the same company, because the position opened up and I had shown the company that I wasn't just going to do the minimum work. I enjoyed what I did, but after I started working as IC, I saw how management was, and how they weren't doing their job. So I left, and went to another retail store.

To continue, the second retail store had a more driven management team, so I was able to do a lot better. They pushed me to do better. I started talking to my team, learning everything I could from everyone.

Long story short, I'm leaving my current job for reasons concerning my home life. But, even while I'm on my way out to find another place, I keep working and they keep giving me connections, people to talk to. Advice.

You don't have to have the highest paying job -- you work hard, talk to people, share interests with others, and it will come back in a circle to aid you. When it comes to earning $ for a house, I wouldn't bother. Find some family or friends to rent a place with -- people you could trust with your life, and just live that way. Save as you can, pay as you can.

Re: I don't want this life.

First, I'm curious as to why you don't have a license. No judgement, I promise, I'm simply asking so I know.
Second, would it all be possible for you to get a bike or something so you have SOMETHING to get you around with, especially if there is somewhere close by for you to get a job? Even getting 10 hours a week could help you a bit.
You don't really need an education to get a job. Sure, it helps, depending on what your chosen field is in, but I didn't go to college for various reasons and I'm doing okay working in a factory. I live with my boyfriend so we split all the house bills, but I pay for all my own stuff.
As for food, rice and beans. Seriously. Buying a bag of each would cost about $3, MAYBE $4, total, and would last you a few weeks. I know it would suck eating on them every day, but at least you would't be going hungry as often!

As for being overweight, I fully understand that struggle and having a brain that makes everything feel impossible. It's a vicious cycle. You KNOW you'll feel better if you get up and do the things you should, but the fact that you don't feel good keeps you from doing those things. Believe me, I know.

Here's to hoping we keep pushing forward and that life gets better.

Re: I don't want this life.

{Blue-Eyed}Dragonfly wrote:
Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:11 pm
First, I'm curious as to why you don't have a license. No judgement, I promise, I'm simply asking so I know.


You don't really need an education to get a job. Sure, it helps, depending on what your chosen field is in, but I didn't go to college for various reasons and I'm doing okay working in a factory.


As for food, rice and beans. Seriously. Buying a bag of each would cost about $3, MAYBE $4, total, and would last you a few weeks.


Here's to hoping we keep pushing forward and that life gets better.
This, yes.

Also, I know this question wasn't directed towards me, but I do want to point out not having a license isn't as rare as you'd think anymore. First, cost of the car -- 20k for a used, 32k for base model, and 36k+ for high tech. Not really affordable. Second, car insurance. Pretty much a scam there.

Re: I don't want this life.

Ah, I know having a license is tough and it isn't rare to not have one. I myself did not get my license until I was 19 (am now 24). My boyfriend refuses to buy a car because of the insurance and drives a motorcycle instead. I was actually just wondering about the circumstances so I had more information.
Also, my car is used and when I'm done paying it off, it won't have cost me more than 10k with interest so I'm not 100% sure where you got your price ranges from. They are definitely expensive to maintain, though. I'm getting my brakes and rotors replaced this weekend and it will probably cost me at least $300 just to do it through a friend instead of a shop.

Re: I don't want this life.

Thinking of prices based on a major car dealership. Local/smaller ones could be cheaper, and method of payment (lease, versus complete purchase) also factor in.

Re: I don't want this life.

Hey guys, thanks for the replies.

I don't have a license because I can't afford to get one, and because I'm terrified of getting into a traffic accident. Even just being a passenger is scary if the car goes too fast for my liking or we're on the highway.

I can get to most places by bus anyways, as long as I have the money to do so.

But in my country, you NEED either a license, an education, or prior job experience to get more or less any job.

I'm working on my education, and once it's done, I'll have somewhat good job opportunities.

It's been a while since I made the post, but the feeling hasn't changed much; I'm still pretty bummed about my financial situation. I'm at a point where I have to borrow money from others to be able to eat, and it sucks ass.

As for the weight, well, I just realised I've lost 10kg since this time last year, so that's progress, but due to my size, it doesn't really show.
Now my pants are too big and I can't afford new ones, haha.

All in all, I'm feeling a little better about my situation now than when I made the post. I' constantly scared of getting ill again and having to be put in the hospital, forcing me to restart my education once again, but I feel better equipped to avoid it this time. I have coping techniques and a supportive network, and I'm on better medication.

Thank you all for your support, btw :smiley:

Re: I don't want this life.

I did make an assumption that you were in the States, so thanks for clarifying.
I'm also glad that you feel like you're getting the tools to pull through. I know fluctuations can still occur, but you will always have support from us here. Keep up the good work and positivity!

"Well, actually, I kinda meant her too," Nancy rep[…] o[…] i[…]

Ooh, conventie klinkt tof! Mede weer een reden om […]

Help us keep Roliana alive and running!