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Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13264035
[spoil]Dear ___

I thought about you guys the other day. I think it was the topic of Christmas that made me think of you, and of the time I spent around you. That was a strange time in my life, and sometimes when I think back on it it feels like a dream. Like it happened to someone else.
Either way, I hope you have the luxury of feeling like that too. Like it's surreal that you were there with me. Like you're past it and on the other side, living life fully again.
I'm hoping you're happy and well and free. God knows you deserve to be. I know that a lot of people probably need a prayer sent their way during Christmas, but I always think of you guys first. Because you affected me a lot, I guess, and because I know that you probably are going through very difficult things during this time of year (though again, I hope that is not the case). If I could, I'd send out an anonymous holiday card to you. I'm not sure what I'd put on it. Nothing about the holidays, probably.
Perhaps just the words "Take care of yourself."
[/spoil]

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13264711
[spoil]AY!
Will we ever get to a point in our lives when we can talk about what bothers us ???
Instead of storming off in silence,
raging alone,
waiting until it's forgotten,
ignoring what happened.
Thinking everyone's cool because we're not upset about it anymore.
WELL YOU'RE WRONG.
It's not OK.
This keeps happening and we're never going to move on from this if this keeps happening.
I hope one day we mature. If not you then I hope I finally grow to be able to communicate properly.
[/spoil]

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13264900
26/500
dear brian,
i love you dearly as a friend :heart: we've known each other for the past few months now and i really love you , such as paul would love kat (from all quiet on the western front). our relationship is something i'd like to keep. thanks for tolerating me. :heart:

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Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13269211
Dear ____,

I really like you. No, it's more than that. You make me happy. You made me happy, i mean, i wasn't feeling that well before i met you, i hadn't been feeling well for a while. So you showed up out of the blue and changed it. You talked to me, you made me laugh, you helped me when i needed, you spent every second of every day with me, you never left me alone. And i can only thank you for doing so. It's just that, despite everything you did for me, there's something missing. I don't love you. I don't love you like i loved him. Like i still love him. Yes, I haven't forgotten about him. I've never meant to hurt you, I thought I had moved on, otherwise I wouldn't have let us come to this point in our relationship. But now I realise I still have feelings for him and, honestly, have no idea what to do. Please know how special you are to me and that if I come to do something that harms you I'll never forgive myself. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it. Not only because I dont want to hurt you but also because I need you, I need all those things you do for me, as I've already said.
I truly want you to be happy.

Dear _____,

I shouldn't even have the guts to tell you this. You'd probably tell me to fuck off if I did. So I'm going to write this letter but shut up around you. I like you. Like I have for the last 2 or 3 years. And now that I know you still like me too, well, it makes it harder for me to ignore what I feel. I like him a lot, please don't think I'm with him just because. I'm not. He's everything you're not, he gives me everything you don't, but there's something missing. He's not you. I don't love him. Not the way I love you. I know things never worked out for us, and never will, but that's what makes it so hard. Feeling this way and not being able to do anything about it. It woud be best for both of us if we moved on but so far it hasn't happenned. And I can't tell when or if it will. God, I just want to stop this. We don't even get along that well, you know I'm right. So tell me what is it? What is it that always keeps us from drifting apart? We're so different and want different things, I don't understand at all. Sometimes I wish you'd set me free so I could be mildly happy with him, sometimes I wish this was all just a dream, that I'd wake up tomorrow and we'd still be trying. I know I've hurt you. It rips me apart, I'm sorry. Can't even say anything else.

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13270050
Dear Mom,
I wish you could understand how much you hurt me all the time. You've been a very tough person to live with for my whole life, with a lot of narcissistic tendencies, lots of gaslighting, and generally abusive. You don't even try to respect my gender or pronoun choices, to the point where you even asked my partner why she was calling me "they" and asked "Since when?!" when it was explained to you, even though I came out to you over two years ago, and have had many conversations with you since then. I can't wait until we move, and I am no longer relying on you for financial help, so that I don't have to even talk to you any more.
Your kid

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13271481

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►199/500
dear brian,
i love you! i hope we get closer over the next few years ♥
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#13273110
Dear dumbass mother fuckin' sister.

Why you thought it appropriate to text me at 5 in the goddamn morning is beyond me. And if it had been one text message I would not have given two shits. But the fact that you sent out 20 text messages in the middle of the night that were exclusively emotes of fireworks (which don't even show up on my phone, because it's an old phone that you KNOW I have) to say "happy new year", is annoying as shit. Do you know what it's like to wake up at 5 AM after having fallen asleep at 4 AM to recieve from a random out of state number;

"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
Happy new year
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐☐"
"☐☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"
"☐☐"

GOD. YOU KNOW I HAVE CHICKENS AND WAKE UP AT 9AM TO CARE FOR THEM. I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU CALLED BE AT 11PM ONE TIME TO ASK ME TO HELP YOU GENDER A CHICKEN YOU FOUND ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

So yeah! That wass annoying as all fuck, and for you to get passive aggressive and pissy about it... "God do you even know what family IS, you never talk to me anyhow, you can disown me like you did your brother if you want, you're such a jerkface, none of the other sisters reacted that way, it's not my fault you don't have a cool phone".

You're such a passive aggressive bitch. I clearly knew nothing about family when I payed you $1000 for plane tickets so you could visit mom while she was dying, and you clearly knew about family when you started treating your oldest sister like shit for dating a girl. You know so much about family, with your divorcee ex husband and your two spoiled brats that break everything. My brother I disowned? Oh? You mean the man who beat me for 7 years and then threw me out of his house and is now siphoning our dad's retirement money for his own pet projects that are going to be a disaster? You mean my other sisters don't get mad because their phones don't register like mine do? Or maybe they don't have to get up in the morning like I do? Or maybe because they don't have severe insomnia? Or maybe they don't have someone laying in bed next to them trying to sleep, someone who has to go to work the next day because they own their own business and have to work when their phone suddenly starts going BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP because your text messages just won't stop fucking coming because you had to send TWENTY GODDAMN TEXTS? Maybe we get up at 9 AM on new years day to work to pay our ACTUAL bills instead of buying cool phones, so we don't have to be like you, living in a goddamn tent city, being proud of getting free chicken meat from wild birds on the side of the road at a truck stop, or bragging about never having a produce grocery bill because you can just pick fruit on trees. Maybe we don't live in poverty because we weren't dumb enough to try to live in HAWAII when we didn't even manage to finish highschool, have no degree, no practical skills, etc.

Maybe, I'm not "off the deep end" or "inherited aunt Betsy's crazy genes" or anything like that, you lunatic christian cultist. Maybe I'm just pissed because you're a HUGE ASS HOLE.

And I'd tell you all this... But you are so wrapped up in your own sad pathetic, narcissistic little world that no matter HOW MUCH of an ass you make of yourself, you're always going to be the victim. You will never be someone who is actually just being an inconsiderate bitch.

So remind me again... Why exactly should I care about getting a happy new years from someone like you? And why exactly should I care if you think of me as family or not? I just see absolutely no reason to ever want you in my life. Ever. Legitimately. Just leave me the fuck alone, the way you couldn't when you tried to indoctrinate me (and everyone else in the whole goddamn world) into your little born again cult. And gtfo. Which incidentally, you wholey retarded pissant pleb, means GET THE FUCK OUT. Maybe your "cool phone" could have told you that if you could afford to pay your internet bills.

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13273271
Dear Goodwill,

I'm actually happy you guys fired me? Because honestly, that was one of the worst jobs I have ever had in my whole entire life! It sucked. You were terrible bosses and while I might buy stuff from Goodwill, I will never work there again. I'm also going to make sure that none of my friends ever consider working for you. You guys are shit.

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13274280
[spoil]Dear D____, I can't believe I thought letting myself hurt everyday so you could continue being her friend was better than actually talking to you about it. Yes, you chose me and yes, I'm the one you're with, but I can't help comparing myself to her anyway. And yes, she's even in her own relationship. My worries and anxieties have been so irrational but it stems from everything that's been happening recently (the me not passing my NCLEX, being unemployed, spiraling in that circle where I think I'm ugly and spend so much money buying clothing and makeup to feel better about myself). You were so sad when I finally told you why I've been crying all this time, because you knew there was never any reason for me to be jealous or whatever. I do feel better that you're not going to talk to her anymore, but I'm more curious as to what you'll do when she talks to you first. You've always been the nice guy, so maybe you'll just go back to your old ways.

Andddd dear 2016, I AM READY FOR YOU! And so is my long list (I kinda think I should make it a shorter list lol) of resolutions.[/spoil]

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13275907
Dear _,

I want to work with you. I want to help you realize your dream. But I have my own tasks and I'm afraid that I might overwork myself if I try to give it my all in three projects at once. You say I have "plenty of time" outside work, but in the next breath you advice me not to do a job and schoolwork at the same time because it didn't work out so well last time. I know you're afraid that you'll have worked for nothing because I cannot be relied on - but trust me; I want to help. I just don't know how to juggle all this and it's making me terrified knowing that I might have to bear the responsibility for your project, two of mine, and partly for an entire household. I'm tired. I'm scared. Please don't think I do this because I'm lazy or unmotivated.
#13276113
Dear sir...

I love you very much but sometimes you make a huge ass of yourself and have no clue that you're doing it. I wish you'd get one, but when I try to give you one in public your little patsy best friend flips out at me. It gets old. Stop being a biscuit, ya dingus.

Dear other sir...
It's been six years. You should understand it by now. gtfo, bugger it all. >/

Sincerely
-Boys are fuckin dumb.

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13276172
Dear friend,

I can't stand your sleazebag of a boyfriend, and I don't want him hanging out at our soon to be new shared home. I don't know how to bring it up to you without starting a fight. I wish things could be less complicated. I tried to not let him bother me but everything he says and does just pisses me off, and I can't believe you are still with him after the things he has said to you personally. This is just gonna make things complicated. what to do???
#13276200
Dear Tyler,

It'll be three months since you left us tomorrow. I've been handling your death a little better these past week or so. It's kind of sad that they only reason I feel better at all is because of a youtuber who lives on the other side of the usa, but he makes me want to live again and to finally start moving forward. It's hard to do that though because I don't know how to start and keep my motivation and I also don't really know for sure where I want to go. I still want to get a tattoo dedicated to you, but I don't have any money right now and I'm not really sure I could take the pain of getting it. Your family isn't doing very well and I wish I could help them but I know nothing I can do or say will help their pain. I miss you so so so much. I don't really have anyone to talk to about you anymore. I know that talking to certain people won't work because I know they won't be able to help the pain of losing you go away. I know that it never will go away. I think I might try to draw again and maybe try to learn to play the piano again. Maybe I'll try to learn Mad World and play it in your memory. It'd probably take me way longer than it took you though. I had a dream about you where my sister was looking at pictures of the two of you that she never actually took in real life. I know it sounds stupid, but the second part of that dream was me being extremely upset when someone made you a meme. I woke up with tears in my eyes. I wish I could see you again. Rest in Peace.

Sincerely,
your friend,
Emily

Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send .

#13278726
[spoil]Mom
I really don't understand you sometimes. One moment you're wanting to help me get help for the Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Depression. Next minute you're yelling at me, saying that i'm lying and that there is nothing wrong with me. Saying that i'm just doing this for attention.
You keep comparing my life to other peoples and saying that 'I don't have it bad and that I should be grateful.' You say a lot of worst stuff too. Then an hour later you act like nothing happened and that you didn't just tear me apart for the third time that month. Another thing I don't understand is how you corner me when I do something but let my siblings get away with it. We don't even talk about what happened with Dad. When he started ignoring me you didn't do anything. But the instant he calls my brother happy birthday late you scream about 'how could he do that to his son?'.
So dad called a couple of days late to say happy birthday to him. He has ignored me ever since I turned Ten Years Old. Always making excuses to not come down for my birthday, forgetting to call. Never checking on me when i'm sick but always coming over when my brother only has a cold. You say that I have no reason to be depressed because i've never been hit. No I haven't. But I have been pushed aside by everybody in the family.
Everyone has bigger problems don't they?

I'm just sick of it. Once i'm old enough to move out i'm leaving. I'll cut ties from everybody and start a new life on where I find people that actually think I matter and that I can be myself.
Screw You.[/spoil]
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