Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Sat Jan 16, 2016 3:02 pm
i've thought about this so often this break, but i realized that my other friends still leave me feeling so damn anxious in the way i talk and interact with them but there is no judgement between us and that's something i have never experienced before.
i literally cried and asked for an extension on a presentation because it threw me off so hard when you told me you were leaving last time and i think i was the only person that cried because of that which i still don't understand. i really don't think i realized how much you meant to me before that and i took your presence for granted and i did it again last semester too and i hate that im only just realizing this again. you're absolutely my best friend and im so grateful to you for always always always being there for me and for being a person that i can identify with so strongly with and that will match me every step of the way.
i really love you and i want the best for you so i'm glad you're not coming back because you deserve the time and space for you mental health but damn it hurts me to know you won't be here and i know that it's selfish to feel this way. but i don't know how to handle our friends and everything else if you're not here and that's a scary thought.
i'm gonna go respond to your message now though in a more dignified and less brain vomited way[/spoil]
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Sat Jan 16, 2016 4:46 pm
- xxWhen I am with you
⊱ ❀ There's No Place I'd Rather Be ❀ ⊰
- Dear Austin,
I'm sorry I broke up with you, but you have to admit you fucked up. Also I was stressed out with a lot and I could not handle my life, what you did, and the fact that you lied to me about it all at the same time. You're an amazing person, kinda gross and you smoke, but amazing. Become a better you because you should want to be better. I'll always keep you in my heart. Maybe one day in the future, we could work, I could forgive you fully, and you could stop being so gross.
- Dear Austin,
⊰ ❀ ⊱ — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Thu Feb 04, 2016 9:38 am
We feel like an idiot. Is there any reason to feel like an idiot in the long run? Not at all. Just today, we need to get through today. We know it's rather unimportant, but our underlying anxiety issues have reared it's ugly and annoying head and told us to be afraid for whatever reason. We haven't taken our meds in months. For some reason, today, we felt it was necessary to calm down a little bit in advance. I understand the need, but overall, we shouldn't need it.
It's something so small and insignificant in our overall life that it really shouldn't matter. We just feel stupid and think there might be some sort of reaction/judgment to follow. Natural, right? I still feel stupid. Intent vs. impact is a big lesson to learn, and even though we posed a harmless question, what people might think of us in this situation, for some reason, seems so completely important and life altering. It really isn't. I was curious, that was it. We've already forgotten about it for the most part, so what makes you think he even remembers?
Just, get our stuff together. There's no need to feel like the world is falling apart because someone might perceive us in a certain fashion. The absolute worst that can happen is I get called out for being curious. Oh, big deal.
I hate having anxiety. We really need to calm down. We've gotten so much better and now we're relapsing? Really?
Get it together[/spoil]
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:12 pm
I fully understand that passing the bar exam is important. I am fully aware of how much time and effort that I will have to put in, in order to pass said exam. I am fucking tired of being told that if I don't start preparing/studying now that I will fail. The test is not until July and we will have two months of nothing but studying to do before hand. In the mean time I still have classes and other work that I need to do in order to graduate so that I can even sit the bar. The constant negativity is not helping at all and is only causing unnecessary stress. It is making me not want to do the work that you are telling us to do. Please just stop with the negativity and thinking that scaring us is the best way to get us motivated to pass the bar.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
Sam Winchester: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick?
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Sat Apr 09, 2016 9:09 pm
P U G s a y s:
dear julian.. i like you.. ? or do i? i don't know. you're nice, charming, smart, cute, etc. etc. but it doesn't seem like you feel the same way. ://
dear ux girls.. i may not be as good as you but i'd really like to. next year you're all probably going to team black, and im not even sure if i can do team red. maybe.. i really like ux. i'm not so good at it though.. and being an alternative isn't really so special in my opinion ;; we need to change the roles of alternatives so that they may feel more special or needed.
you'll never be what you wanna be with all that money, that money
i'll search the universe
until i can find you again
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:43 pm
Remember that people can't read your mind. You can't do this either. Nobody knows how you're feeling or how bad you're hurting unless they can blatantly see you're in pain or you say something. Nobody is going to piece your life back together without being asked. If you want relationships to last, although it's sometimes okay to be asked to hang out and stuff, you too have to show interest otherwise people have to assume and guess. Personally you don't like assuming or guessing too much, do you? So why would other people necessarily want to do that with you? You're getting pretty old but like the post you saw on tumblr, it's never too late. Until the day you die, keep trying to become comfortable, confident, happy, and where you want to be in life. You may have not moved forward in many, many years but that doesn't mean change won't ever happen. Some day you will snap out of this routine cycle and look back at these times and smile, maybe laugh, because they've shaped who you are. And you will turn out beautifully, honey.
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Sun May 15, 2016 12:16 pm
I don't want to love you anymore, you keep toying with me and knowing how I feel about you, you continue to use me and other guys like toys.
What is your problem? I know your dad wasn't around when you were younger but that doesn't excuse your behavior and the way you treat people.
I want you to stop kissing me I want my feelings for you to stop I don't want to be hugged and fall for your trap over and over again just because you think you can control me.
You told people I raped you just so you look innocent to the fact you had sex with me when you wanted to be with someone else.
Well so far you got 3 on the go you think you're a good woman?
Maybe you should see everything from my view on the world and realize what you do is wrong.
Lying, cheating, using people for sex and money. What are you after? you're not happy and you sure are not after love because you had that but threw it away.. No rather you faked it so you wouldn't be alone, why damage me, why damage other people?
You are the reason I have to take pills you added the stone that weighed my life.
My mum died
My dog died
My brother died
I lost my job
I lost my home
I only have my son for 8 hours a week
I was drinking myself to death
I got fat
I wanted to die
All in a space for 6 months!
How dare you manipulate me still.
I won't allow you anymore after today I have figured out everything my life does not belong to you anymore. Your Fault Your Loss.
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Mon Jun 06, 2016 8:55 am
I am so mad. My fancy $20 white bath towels that have never been used are now ruined because "someone" thought that it was a good idea to put red clothes in the wash.
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Tue Jun 07, 2016 3:43 pm
Stop being overprotective. I'm getting tired of you having my life in a chokehold.
I am in my twenties now, and I don't need your guidance on anything. And no, the eeeeeeeeevul lady on the other side of the country isn't going to take your sweet little girl away. All she asked for was a few days with me. You have had me for over 20 years.
I am absolutely sick of you trying to dominate every aspect of my life. Back off, or I am cutting you out of my life when the time comes.
Your daughter in name only
Still good, though.
Re: . Write Letters You Cannot Send . - Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:02 am
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